New thing #17:

73339538380254b0d415bd05afda4bdbOnline dating is a good example of something I put on my new things list that I have never wanted to do. Repeat to self… “out of my comfort zone, out of my comfort zone…”

When you tell people you’re single, it feels like you become a problem for them to solve. “Oh,” they say with poorly disguised pity, “well, that’s cool.” But it’s not cool, because they’ll say, “So, why aren’t you dating?” Even my own ex-boyfriend (we broke up 6 months ago and are attempting to be friends), asked me why I’m not dating. And the only answer I have for all these concerned individuals, is that I hardly ever meet anyone I want to date. Next comes the inevitable question: “Have you tried online dating?”

No, I haven’t. I know it’s the thing to do these days. I know that everyone and their mom is doing it so there’s no stigma anymore. I know that a lot of people doing it have the same doubts about it as I do so I’m not alone, and blah, blah, BLAH.

I think it’s cool and really brave for other people to online date, but it has never felt right for me. I just can’t get over how unnatural and forced it feels. I was embarrassed trying to come up with a dating profile headline (I settled on, “Can we say we met at a baseball game or cooking class or something?”), and trying to find things to say about myself that don’t sound corny, cliché, or just plain stupid.

And do guys even read profiles? My suspicion is that from the 15 “winks”, 10 emails, and 5 IM chat requests I got within a few minutes of signing up, maybe 2 of those guys actually went beyond just looking at my pictures, because I hadn’t even finished writing the text parts of my profile yet.

But, who knows? Maybe this will become one of those things you resist for a long time then end up loving it (although I 99% doubt it). The best part of this is that if nothing comes of it, it’s totally okay. Believe it or not (most people don’t), I’m just fine with being single.


5 thoughts on “New thing #17:

  1. Well, welcome to the online dating club. You aggressively pursued me to create an online account, to which, you even said you would manage and weed out the guys you felt wouldn’t work for me. No one could have foreseen the “0 matches” I would receive. “Youre too picky” “try something new” and the ever so popular
    “get out your comfort zone” are all things I am saying too you now. If anything, it’ll provide us entertainment. And I will definitely spill the beans on your wedding day, as i’m toasting you and your husband “Well glad it worked for someone, I had 0 matches!” maybe instead of party favors, you can subscribe your single friends to, we’ll be at the table in the back getting drunk…

      • God Sierra, you’re so brave. I can’t believe all the things your trying and now this. I hesitate to comment because I’ve heard good and bad and wouldn’t want to sway your feelings (not that I could anyway). All I really want for you is to be happy. So, be happy in what ever stage of life you’re in and carry on girl and things will happen the way they were meant to happen.

        Love, Dad

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